yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
