Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize