honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
