Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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