I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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