I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
