I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
