i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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