So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
