its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
