I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
