I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
