Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
