In the future we'll all be gay
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize