i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
