I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
