When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
