If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
