no, he came in my armpit
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
