This is not my ceiling
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
