you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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