So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
