I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
