Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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