hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
