I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
