normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
