so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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