Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
