Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
