I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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