ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
