shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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