I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
