Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wish there were birth control emojis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
