I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
