I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
