i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need a burrito and a hug.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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