Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
