Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
