You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
