When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize