omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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