the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize