He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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