Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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