There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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