I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
