Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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