So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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