That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
