Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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