I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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