Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the day after is always just damage control
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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