i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
