Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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