Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
