My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
