She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
