cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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