looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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