i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
