DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
