Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
