I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
