god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
