She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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