the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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