I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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